Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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