i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
