I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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