He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize