his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
