the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize