another moral hangover. fuck.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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