Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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