He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
