i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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