The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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