An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
where are you?
Hypothermia
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
