would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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