he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
