I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
