ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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