The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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