Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
