who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
