You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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