I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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