I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
