So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
