I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
