I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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