My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
wow bdsm is so cute
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
