I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
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