At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
