I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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