You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
