addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
