i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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