I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
