I wanna bring you to show and tell
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
