Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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