if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we're making bets on your personal life
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
