Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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