I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
