you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
