u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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