Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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