alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
