she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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