It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
