This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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