Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
