if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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