pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize