Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
there is another microwave in the elevator.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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