In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
