you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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