:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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