are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize