That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
