Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
