Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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