is your mom at the bar?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
